Excerpt from my new book: From Lilburn to Kalighat

EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER 01; 

The mean Street

Walking down the Street the first thing I noticed was the filth. The last thing I wanted to witness after not so stable stay at Bangalore the city I lived for almost a decade. The horrifying feeling gripped my heart, I can hear the pounding and the less descript road spoke to me,” Welcome Home”, this is where it will start again! Is it?

Entering Masis house I was unwelcomed by Laxmi the maid servant, who was waiting for me to trash inside the room, which I am going to share with three more people, whom I haven’t seen before, I don’t know who they are, what their identity is? What they will be like? Questions, questions and questions, but then they were there always! On that late winter fateful day when I left Bangalore, the city of choice for reasons self created, I was hounded by questions from every quarter, why you did this? What went wrong? We never thought he will be like this? My god he is one bastard, who have screwed all our happiness, why didn’t we recognize him? I had nothing to answer, nothing to speak, nothing to defend, I was this useless creature who was victimised for reasons unknown, but reasons self created! This dichotomy was killing me since it all started.

Yes, it all started with an ambition. An ambition to scale the pinnacle of success, to create the magic, which the great Indian middle class is made of, after all I am one of them. Working through the ups and down, here I am 2003, the year it all started, my reason to live, my life, my journey towards the fame and fortune (or was it self created dream again). Life was never the same; a sensation crippled my senses for the next two years. I was blinded by the hype that I cannot fail! The clear and present danger (is it the filth? Is it the arrogance? Is it the self destruction?) remained unknown to me till that fateful month of October 2005.

The room was small, and a strange nauseating feeling was engrossing me. I felt I am about to die! Hurriedly to turn my attention I dialled that number. For the last one and half months I am trying the same number everyday every 10 minutes, the result remained the same, no response and after two attempts an arrogant click ended the call midway. Desperately I text and threw the phone away.

I have no idea what’s stored for me? What I am going to face? Hurriedly I turned the my back to see that no was around and wiped my tears, I threw myself to the wooden log covered with blankets and wept hard as I don’t know how long this will be my bed. As I was turning upside down to rest my back I saw a face, “Hey morning! This is Vijay!” I was amazed; I was shocked! Last many months since the ordeal started no body have been so warm to me! Hesitantly I replied back, “Morning”. I can feel that my mouth is dry and I am grasping for words! Is it the same me, who friends would call chatterbox and people in business termed as “Man with exceptional oratory glib”! That was so untrue! Here I am trying to respond back and all lost between words!! 

“I have to get out of this place” was the only bell I could hear; the inhospitable surrounding suddenly turned a little less hostile with this man’s presence but has added more woes to me that words can’t define. I checked my watch and turned to Vijay to find out whether I can get some food? I mumbled, but he picked up, “Right Joe, just call for it, that’s the good deal of staying in paying guest, you pay for the food and get it when you want”. He had question marks all over his face, but then I was sure that was more for the hesitant first approach I had. Nonchalantly he waived his hand and said, “Ok let me call that for you”. I was so thankful to him.

I tried to concentrate hard. Ok let me run through my checklist, I have following people to call, and then I must get out of this place and try mix with the rush so that I remain less noticeable. 

Links: ABNA Submission 2007

Author: Rana Dutta

Copyright: All rights reserved